Ich bin ein NERD

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
A photo of a gorgeous black cat sitting inside a cardboard box. He has turned his head to look at the camera. His name is Salem.ALT
An image of a black cat (Salem) lying on his side on a pink blanket. His eyes are closed and he looks like he's smiling. You can just see a white hand giving him head-scritches.ALT
A photo looking down on two black cats against a grey lino floor. The cats are lying back-to back. The cat on the left - Pumpkin - is a little bit fatter than Salem, and is looking over his shoulder towards his brother. There is sunlight on them, and Salem's coat has 'rusted', showing up reddish-copper colours in his black fur.ALT
A photo that looks up at a cat who is perched on top of a wooden door inside a home. The cat is Pumpkin. He has a squishy round face and is looking down with inquisitive big greeny-orange eyes.ALT
A photo of Salem, a slender black kitty, on top of a wide radiator that's in a bathroom. There is a toilet roll on top of the radiator too, and Salem is looking very confused - he has tried to lie down, his front legs are either side of the toilet roll... and he can't lie down because the roll is in the way.ALT
A photo of a cute black kitty (Pumpkin) inside a long white box. He is at the far end of the box, looking inquisitively up at the corner to his left. The camera flash has set off the glow effect of his eyes.ALT
A photo of two black cats inside a round, fuzzy bed. They are slightly smaller than in the other photos. Salem is contoured to the curve of the bed, and Pumpkin takes up most of the rest of the space with his bum against his brother's chest. It is a little hard to make out the details in the void though.ALT

Happy Caturday to all who celebrate!

Here are some photos of my kitty-babies Pumpkin and Salem! They’re brothers/litter-mates. Salem likes to yell a lot. Pumpkin was named before I realised his eyes are orange (Salem’s are green), and before he got his round little tummy-tum (his weight is monitored to make sure he stays as healthy as possible!).

[Image IDs:
Image #1 shows a black cat in a cardboard box. He has turned to look over his shoulder up at the camera, and is in a very cute photogenic pose, and looks like a model.

Image #2 is of the same slender black cat - Salem - lying on his side on a pink blanket, close to his owner. A white hand is just visible giving him head-scritches. He has his eyes closed and is very content. His face is side-on to the camera, and he looks like he’s smiling.

Image #3 looks down on two black cats lying back-to-back on a grey floor. The cat on the left is a little tubbier - this is Pumpkin - and is looking over his shoulder to his brother. Salem’s coat has ‘rusted’ in the sunlight and is showing the copper colours beneath it.

Image #4 looks up at a cat perched on top of a wooden interior door. Most of his body is obscured by the door and the angle, but he has very fuzzy edges, and is looking very inquisitively down towards the camera with big round eyes.

Image #5 is of a slender black cat trying to lie down on the top of a wide radiator in a bathroom. There is, however, a toilet roll in the way. His front paws are either side of it, and the top of the loo roll is against his chest, stopping him lying down. He seems a bit perplexed as he looks down and tries to think in his tiny kitty brain 'what is going on??’.

Image #6 is of the interior of a very long white mattress box. At the far end, a little black kitty is looking up at the 'roof’ of the box in consideration of who know what. His eyes are glowing thanks to the camera flash that’s gone off.

Image #7 shows two black cats curled up in a fuzzy white round cat bed that has brown paw prints on it. There’s more black cat than there is bed. Salem is contoured to the curve of the bed, while his brother is splodged with his butt against his brother’s chest.

/END ID]

Pinned Post cats black cats image described they are very curious and affectionate babies they would give you a little sniff pumpkin would probably lick your hand if you have facial hair salem would probably try to lick your face XD
captainkay
cookiescr

Yknow the thing where red pandas just lay down on a branch and let their legs hang and they’re just like vibing

cookiescr

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they’re just vibing yknow?

dimpledgucci

porcupines do this too :)

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disenchanted-mona-lisa

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i have excellent news about the manul cat

radwolf76

Manul cat is an automatic reblog from me.

lokeanrampant

I am porcupine.

krakensdottir

Pretty much most cats that spend any time in trees, tbh

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Honestly tho, in terms of lazy chill I don’t think anyone’s gonna beat this bear:

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pterygota

look at this squirrel

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by inaturalist user gregslak

infinibastard

@rhythpo

thequeenofsastiel

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And let’s not forget the time an entire pride of ten lions decided to take a nap in a single tree

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Yes these photos are real

hellshire-harlot

The Lion tree is ready for harvest

thequeenofsastiel

Excellent addition

moniquill

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Fossa

animalss long post
inheavenlygrass
oopsabird

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god, GOD Freddie Mercury was such a fucking badass

tiny-septic-box-sam

This doesn’t do the moment justice. He took the swig of vodka, said “I’ll fucking do it darling”, and then ABSOLUTELY NAILED IT in one fucking take

child-of-dolora

Mood for 2019: “I’ll fucking do it, darling.”

insanelycoolish

Reblog for Freddie Mercury level belief in yourself this new year! 

wodneswynn

I’ll fucking do it, darling

books-andbiscuits

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inheavenlygrass
mortalityplays

talking about impenetrable accents/dialect just reminded me. when I was in Milan a couple of years back I was staying in this little rathole hotel and I had the biggest fucking migraine, so I was like non c'è problema I'll just go buy painkillers. of course every pharmacy on the map in a three block radius was closed, so my stupid ass just starts wandering around trying to figure out on the fly if you can get OTC from supermarkets in italy.

I walk into this little everything store (to my foreign eyes the kind of place that back home could sell you a bunch of carrots, a 6-pack of beer, pantyhose, bleach and a screwdriver set) and I see some household basics in the back but not what I need. with the confidence of a person who is only in the city for 3 days because he got bored and packed a bag and booked the cheapest flight available the week before (<= MENTAL ILLNESS), I was like no worries I know some italian, I can just ask.

I grab a bottle of water, walk up to the counter, and I'm like Ciao, hai il paracetamolo? And the guy is like che, and I'm like paracetamolo. Per la mia testa. And he's like che?

This is where I would have said 'aspirina' except I can't take aspirin for medical reasons, or 'antidolorifico' except I don't know that word and I've got no phone data for google translate and also I'm stupid. So in my fucked up leith-glasgow-italian accent I'm like paaa-ra-cetta-mollll-ooo. He's like ohhh bene, bene, and he calls another guy out of the back and asks him to go get something. Other guy then walks out of the store into the street, and before I can be like hey, che la fuck, he comes back and hands me a huge bundle of herbs.

At this point I'm like okay this entire interaction has been a bust, but these guys have been very nice and patient and they're both smiling happily at me because they've been of service, so I'm like ahh perfetto, grazie, pay them a couple of euros and leave.

EVENTUALLY I find a pharmacy that's open, and my head is fucking killing me, and my phone still isn't connecting, and now I have this small shrubbery poking out of my coat pocket, so I don't even bother looking around the shelves. I just walk straight to the counter and I'm like uhh ciao, scusi. And hearing my nightmare of an accent the guy answers in english and I'm like thank christ, do you please have paracetamol. Not aspirin, I can't take aspirin. And he's like yeah yeah hold on, goes into the back, comes out with what I need.

Only when he comes out he gives me this look, and then he starts laughing. And then he pretends he's not laughing and rings me up and I pay, and as I'm leaving I can see him losing it. But I don't care, my head is going to explode, I'm going back to the rathole to close the blinds and fall comatose for four hours.

When I get back to my hotel room I take off my coat and remember the huge bouquet of herbs in my pocket. They smell amazing, and I'm like I'm pretty sure this is parsley in which case I can just get some tomatoes and mozzarella later and make it work. but since I have no idea what that interaction was, I want to make sure. I bring out my phone to get a visual reference of what parsley leaves look like, and because I was using it for google translate earlier I put 'parsley' in the wrong box like a dope and translate it to italian.

prezzemolo

I wish I could have been the pharmacist in the moment he looked at my tired pissed off anglophone ass, heard me say 'paracetamol' in my fucked up accent, and turned around saw what was in my pocket. I'd have lost my shit too.